Presence

You are negotiating your salary

Almost two in three employees (64%) feel uncomfortable in salary negotiations (Stepstone, 2025). Good preparation helps you go in with more confidence.

Is it true that women ask for more money less often?

No. In Germany, women and men ask equally often, with 63% asking at least once a year. The difference is in the outcome: 54% of women get the pay rise, compared with 59% of men (Stepstone, 2019). A large study from Australia shows the same pattern (Artz et al., 2018).

Why does asking still feel risky?

Because the risk is real. In experiments, women who negotiated for themselves were more often rated as unlikeable than men who made the same demand. Being careful is an understandable reaction, and there are ways of phrasing your request that reduce this risk.

How do I make the case for what I'm asking for?

Frame your request in terms of your working relationship. In one study, two sentences helped women get more while still coming across as likeable. One was that their manager had advised them to raise the topic. The other was that negotiating well is a skill they bring to the job. Name a specific figure and back it up with your results and market data.

Does preparing help if the problem is in the system?

Yes. An analysis of 51 studies shows that when women know how much room there is to negotiate, their disadvantage disappears (Mazei et al., 2015).

What you can do now

1. Collect your results in numbers and use them, together with the market, to arrive at a specific figure.
2. Prepare one sentence that frames your request in terms of your working relationship.
3. Practise the conversation out loud until you feel confident.

Whether you're entitled to find out what your colleagues earn is covered under Law.

You talk about your achievements

Whether in your annual review, a job application or while networking: if you don't make your work visible, it's easy to overlook.

Why do I find it hard to present my performance well?

You're not alone, and it's not because you don't know how well you did. In a large study, women rated their own performance clearly lower than men with the same result, even after they knew their result. Many of us learned early on that modesty goes down better in women, and that pattern still has an effect.

How do I talk about achievements without bragging?

Stick to the facts: what you did, what came out of it and how you can tell, for example from a figure, feedback from clients or a deadline that was met. Say “I” when it was you and “we” when it was the team. A factual description doesn't come across as bragging. It makes it easy for others to see the value of your work.

How do I keep track of my achievements?

Keep a simple list where you note down every week what went well, with the date and the result. Before your annual review, a job application or a salary negotiation, you then have everything in one place and don't have to rely on memory.

What you can do now

1. Start a list of achievements and add three things that went well this week.
2. For each point, note how the result can be seen.
3. Take the list with you to your next annual review.

How to turn this into a salary request is covered under You are negotiating your salary.

You say no

Many tasks at work are important but hardly count towards promotion, such as taking minutes, organising the Christmas party or onboarding new colleagues.

Why do these tasks end up with me so often?

That's no coincidence. In experiments by the economists Linda Babcock and Lise Vesterlund, women volunteered for such tasks more often, and they were also asked more often, by men and women alike. So it's down to expectations, not to you.

How do I say no without straining the relationship?

Thank the person for asking, say no clearly and give a short reason, such as a project that has priority right now. If you want to help, offer a smaller alternative, for example a template instead of organising the whole thing. A friendly, clear no usually goes down better than a hesitant yes that you take back later.

What do I do if my manager asks me?

Ask what should be put on hold instead. Then they decide what has priority, and you don't have to do the extra task on top of everything else. Also suggest that such tasks rotate within the team.

What you can do now

1. Write down which extra tasks you're taking on at the moment and which of them count for your development.
2. Next time, say a friendly no or offer a smaller alternative.
3. If your manager asks, ask back what should be put on hold, and suggest rotating such tasks.

You speak in meetings

Who talks how much depends a lot on the rules of the game. In a study of 94 groups, the gap in speaking time disappeared as soon as everyone had to agree to a decision (Karpowitz et al., 2012).

Is it my fault that I get less time to speak?

No. At the German Geography Congress in 2019, men took 61% of the speaking time in discussions, even though almost half of the speakers were women (Aufenvenne et al., 2021). Patterns like this come from the situation, and your personality has little to do with them.

What helps when I get interrupted?

Keep talking and name it calmly, for example with “Let me just finish this thought.” If you're leading the meeting, set ground rules, such as a round in which everyone speaks before the discussion starts.

Is it worth speaking up first?

Yes. In academic seminars, women asked fewer questions when a man had asked the first one. If you speak early, you change who speaks after you, and that includes other women in the room.

What you can do now

1. For your next meeting, prepare something to say in the first few minutes.
2. Have a sentence ready for when you get interrupted.
3. Suggest a round in which everyone speaks before the discussion starts.

You respond to put-downs and stupid remarks

A joke about your looks, a “you wouldn't understand” or a comment in front of everyone: you don't have to come back with a quick-witted reply, but you're allowed to respond.

How do I respond to a belittling remark?

Calmly name what happened and stay on topic, for example with “I don't think that's appropriate. Back to the topic.” You don't have to justify yourself or counter with a joke of your own. A short, calm reply shows everyone in the room that you noticed the remark and are carrying on with the conversation.

And if I don't say anything in the moment?

That's fine. You can talk to the person privately later and say what bothered you and what you'd like in future. Note down the date, the situation and the exact words, especially if it happens more often.

What applies if it's sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment at work is prohibited under the German General Equal Treatment Act (AGG). You can complain to your employer, and your employer has to protect you, even if the harassment comes from clients, customers or patients. Many people are affected: in one study, 13% of working women had experienced sexual harassment at work in the previous three years, more than half of it from customers or other third parties (Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency, 2019). You can get free advice from the Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency.

What you can do now

1. Prepare a calm sentence you can use to name a remark and return to the topic.
2. If you didn't say anything in the moment, talk to the person privately later.
3. Note down the date, the situation and the exact words. In the case of sexual harassment, complain to your employer or get advice from the Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency.

You stand up for yourself in everyday life

At the garage, with your landlord, at the bank or at the doctor's: how you come across often helps decide what you get.

Do I get quoted different prices than men?

Sometimes. In a US study, garages quoted women higher prices than men when they said they didn't know the usual price. When they named a realistic price, the difference disappeared. And when women asked for a discount, they actually got one more often than men.

How do I prepare for a conversation like this?

Find out the usual price or your rights beforehand, for example from comparison sites, a consumer advice centre or your tenancy agreement. In the conversation, say what you know and ask for a discount or for written confirmation. If you show that you know what you're talking about, you're treated differently.

What do I do if I'm not taken seriously at the doctor's?

Write down beforehand which symptoms you've had and since when, and what you want to ask, and take the list with you. Ask for your symptoms to be documented, and ask why an examination isn't necessary. You can get a second opinion from another doctor at any time and bring someone with you.

What you can do now

1. Before your next conversation with a garage, bank or landlord, find out the usual price or your rights.
2. In the conversation, say what you know and ask for a discount.
3. Take a list of your symptoms and questions with you to the doctor's.

You meet people for the first time

At events, while networking or in a new job, you make contacts who may open doors for you later.

How do I introduce myself?

With your name, what you do and one sentence on what you're working on right now or what interests you. That gives the other person something to pick up on. Practise these two or three sentences out loud beforehand, so they come out smoothly even in a crowd.

How do I start a conversation if I don't know anyone?

Join people who are standing on their own or an open group, and ask about something you're both experiencing, for example the last talk. Good questions get you further than clever statements. At the end, ask whether they'd like to stay in touch, and note down what you talked about.

Is it calculating to use contacts for your career?

Many women feel that way, as an interview study with women leaders in large companies shows. But networks are built on give and take. You may ask for advice or a recommendation and help others in the same way, and if you never ask, you take away other people's chance to help.

What you can do now

1. Write two or three sentences to introduce yourself, and practise them out loud.
2. At the next event, first approach people standing on their own, and ask about the shared experience.
3. This week, ask someone in your network for advice or a recommendation.

You can find suitable networks under Networks.

You are changing jobs

When you change jobs, your salary is negotiated from scratch. That's your chance of a bigger jump than with a pay rise in your current job.

How do I know what the job is worth?

Only one in eight job ads in Germany states a salary (Indeed Hiring Lab, 2026). The Entgeltatlas (pay atlas) of the Federal Employment Agency gives you a first idea. It shows median salaries by profession, region, age and gender. In the interview, also ask about the salary range planned for the position.

Does it matter whether it's clear that I can negotiate?

A lot. In an experiment with around 2,500 applicants, the gap between women and men disappeared as soon as the job ad said the salary was negotiable (Leibbrandt and List, 2015). You can create this clarity yourself by asking how much room there is for the position.

Do I have to tell them my current salary?

In Germany, the question isn't yet explicitly banned. The EU Pay Transparency Directive is meant to change that, but it hasn't been transposed into national law yet. You can steer the question towards what you expect for the new role. That depends on the position and the market, and your old contract has nothing to do with it.

What you can do now

1. Look up your profession and region in the Entgeltatlas and use it to arrive at your figure.
2. Ask about the salary range and the room for negotiation in the interview.
3. Prepare a sentence that steers the talk from your current salary to what you expect for the new role.

At She Owns Day, you can talk directly to hiring companies in the Corporate Lounge.

You are self-employed and negotiating prices

Just over four in ten solo self-employed people are women (WSI, 2025). Underpricing is widespread across the market, not an exception.

Am I the exception with my low prices?

No. In a survey of more than 3,600 solo self-employed people, more than one in three jobs paid less than the recommended fee for the profession, and only 7% paid more (Haus der Selbstständigen, 2022).

What do I gain from knowing reference prices?

A lot. People who know how much room there is negotiate better, and studies show that women then even do better than men. Your reference points are the fee recommendations of your professional association or an official fee schedule.

I find it easier to negotiate for others than for myself. Can I use that?

Yes, and the evidence is strong. When women negotiate on behalf of others, they get better results. As a business owner, you negotiate for your business, your team and the quality your clients receive. That's not a pretext: it's exactly what you're doing.

When do I raise my prices?

Plan it in advance instead of waiting for the right moment. Announce the increase with a date and a reason, for example higher costs or a broader offer. That way your clients can plan.

What you can do now

1. Look up the fee recommendation of your professional association and compare it with your rate.
2. Write your next quote from your business's point of view, for example “For this result, we charge …”.
3. Set a date for your next price increase and announce it with a reason.

How to work out a price you can live on is covered under Starting a business.

You want to be visible as an expert

There are plenty of women experts. But newsrooms under time pressure call the people they already know.

How do I get onto the lists that newsrooms use?

By being easy to find before the request comes in. Sign up for databases of women experts, such as speakerinnen.org, and say in one sentence exactly what you can be quoted on. Newsrooms search by topic, and nobody reads your CV.

Does LinkedIn really help?

Yes, if people find you. Recruiters are 13% less likely to click on women's profiles in their searches than on men's (LinkedIn, 2019). A clear professional title in your headline and regular posts of your own on one topic make you easier to find.

How do I prepare for an interview?

Decide on two or three key messages that you'll get across whatever the question. Newsrooms quote short, clear sentences, and anyone who was easy to quote once gets asked again.

What you can do now

1. Write one sentence about what you can be quoted on as an expert and put it in your LinkedIn headline.
2. Sign up for a database of women experts, such as speakerinnen.org.
3. Before every interview, write down two or three key messages.

You are on stage

At large German tech conferences, just under three in ten speakers were women in 2019 (Berlin School of Business and Innovation, 2020). Stage slots are handed out through networks and visibility.

How do I get on a stage in the first place?

Organisers often look for speakers at short notice, and they ask the people they can find with a topic and a short bio. speakerinnen.org helps with this and also shows which events hardly invite any women.

What does the Q&A after my talk do for me?

More than you might think. After talks by women, more women join the discussion, and when a woman asks the first question, more women speak up afterwards. If you pick the first question yourself, you shape the whole round.

What you can do now

1. Write a talk topic and a three-sentence bio and make both easy to find.
2. At your next talk, deliberately choose who asks the first question from the audience.

You are returning from parental leave

Mothers plan for almost 15 months of Elterngeld (parental allowance) on average, fathers for just under four (Federal Statistical Office, 2026). So the conversation about returning to work is usually one that women have.

Can I come back part-time and increase my hours later?

In companies with more than 45 employees, you can apply for Brückenteilzeit (temporary part-time). You reduce your hours for one to five years and then go back to your old hours. If you reduce your hours permanently without Brückenteilzeit, you have no right to increase them again later.

What do I discuss in the return-to-work meeting?

Agree on your tasks, hours and salary before you come back, and put everything in writing. Also ask what pay rises there were in your team while you were away, so you know what you're negotiating about.

What you can do now

1. Check whether your company has more than 45 employees, and apply for your reduced hours as Brückenteilzeit.
2. Ask in writing about the pay rises during your parental leave.
3. After the meeting, put your tasks, hours and salary in writing.

Your rights around parental leave and protection against dismissal are covered under Law.

You want to move up

Women ask for a promotion just as often as men. What is often missing is specific feedback that makes the case for the next level.

My feedback is always good, but I'm not moving up. Why?

In reviews, women get specific feedback on their results less often, both in praise and on what's still missing. “You're doing a great job” won't get you far in a promotion round. So ask directly which two results you still need for the next level.

How do I negotiate for my team?

With confidence, because studies show women are especially successful when they negotiate for others. Budget, positions and salaries for your team are exactly that kind of situation, and the same preparation also helps you with your own position.

What you can do now

1. Ask your manager which two results you still need for the next level.
2. Bring your results in numbers to the conversation about your promotion.